Why You Have to Change (Before It's Too Late)

It was 3am and I couldn’t sleep. I felt a wave of anxiety for no reason at all. Crippling, existential dread.

That day, I could feel my heart racing nonstop. And I felt angry about everything. I was on edge all day.

This anxious rage lasted weeks. And I had no idea why. My friends and family speculated about its cause - maybe I was working too much. Maybe I wasn’t drinking enough water.

But nothing I changed had any positive impact.

And then one day I was watching an interview with director Steven Soderbergh, and he was discussing the evolution of digital vs film cinematography.

And he said this: “I would never want to be perceived that way… as someone who’s static. That’s unnatural. Actually stasis is an unnatural form of being. Because nothing in this universe is static. Everything is moving forward.”

That’s when it clicked for me. I realized I have been in a position where I feel static. I haven’t grown or leveled up or tread new ground in too long… and I’m hungry.

Stasis is death.

As I get older, time moves quicker. And as time moves quicker, I move slower.

The other day I had dinner with a friend of mine, and we were chatting and I realized I hadn’t seen him for 6 months! I could have sworn it had only been a few weeks! But somehow the days blend together and boom six months have gone by.

Even writing this, I realize that I said I had dinner with him “the other day,” but in reality, that was already four months ago.

Time marches on and you can’t fight it, you can’t stop it, but you can do your best to keep up with it.

As Steven Soderbergh said - stasis is an unnatural form of being. Yet so many of us fall into this trap where time flies by and we get stuck in one place. Society is not structured in a way that catapults everybody to self-actualization. That’s something you have to fight for. Something you have to keep running toward. And you have to be careful when you stop running to catch your breath, because you might forget to pick it up again. And then six months fly by and you realize nothing’s changed and every day is the same.

So this is why I had so much anxiety and rage bubbling beneath the surface. I was antsy. You know that feeling when you take too much preworkout and your skin starts to itch and you can’t sit still? That’s basically what was happening to me. But I couldn’t channel it until I knew what the problem was. And see now… now I know what the problem was.

Take a step back and look at yourself. Look at your entire life. Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? And where are you on that trajectory? Are you sprinting toward your next destination? Or are you stuck in the mud?

Stasis is a self-destructive pattern. If you have even a half ounce of self awareness, you’re aware of some of your self-destructive patterns. Yet you still do them.

I was going through some of my old journals from a couple years ago, and the entries looked almost identical to the ones I wrote last week. Like what the fuck is that about?

It’s crucial that we look at our lives from a wider perspective. Who’s telling us what to think? Who’s dictating how we behave? Are we or are we not in control?

I never want to be static. I don’t want to feel static and I don’t want people to think I’m static. Yet the fact is that 99% of people are totally static. Most people never change, they barely grow, and they’re stuck their entire lives.

But with greater self awareness, greater perspective, and a hunger for evolution - we can absolutely catapult ourselves forward. But it requires constant vigilance and an insatiable desire for growth.

And everything has the potential for growth. You can grow as a person, as a partner, as an artist! You can eat better, exercise more, work faster, think bigger, and create better.

But what you can’t do is remain static. Because even stasis quickly becomes decay. And even though decay is inevitable, it can be delayed.

So think about yourself. Think about what has remained unchanged. What problems have remained consistent throughout the days, weeks, months, years, or even decades? It’s time to evolve. It’s time to fight for your own survival.

Stasis is death. Stasis is unnatural. But tragically, stasis is where so many of us spend most of our time. And I don’t know about you… but I fucking reject that. I ain’t about it, and I refuse.

One year from now, I will be a different person. Fuck it, I might even wake up tomorrow a different person if I really feel like it.

And you can do this too. Transformations happen every day. Your new incarnation could be the tipping point that changes everything.

But you have to embrace it. You have to be fearless and open-minded. Because evolution at speeds this rapid can be painful. But it’s worth it.

We cannot be static anymore. It’s unacceptable.

I can feel that I’ve been starved creatively, and I’ve let external forces stifle me in a way that I wasn’t even aware of. But now I’m awake. And I’m fucking wired.

Since I’ve had this realization, my emotions have shifted. I’m not as angry or as anxious anymore, but I am restless. See it’s important to channel this energy into the shift. Because it’s not easy to change everything. It’s not easy to become a new person and level up your entire life. So you need as much inertia as possible to get the ball rolling.

And once it starts rolling, you’ve gotta keep pushing so it never slows down. Because if you can move a little faster than the ball, then you can build momentum as you push it. And that’s when things really get crazy.

How to Get ahead of 99% of People (in 3 Months)

So I spent an inordinate amount of time creating a PDF outlining my strategy for getting ahead of 99% of people (in 3 months). It’s a 12-week productivity system that I’ve been using for about a year now.

I hope you find it helpful.

Here’s a free downloadable PDF of the system:

I will probably create future editions of this based on updates/changes I make to my own system, so feel free to leave a comment making suggested changes.

the false promise of new habits

Whenever I create a new set of habits, I get overwhelmed with a sense of motivation and optimism.

Unfortunately, this feeling is largely bullshit, and ultimately unhelpful.

It feels helpful at first - who doesn't like feeling motivated and optimistic? But the problem occurs after a few days, when life kicks in and things get in the way.

Maybe you miss a couple habits. You fall off the wagon a little. All of a sudden you feel less optimistic, and therefore less motivated. It feels hard. It feels like things will never get better.

See, the trick to good lifestyle design is to pick a habit stack that you can largely sustain even when you feel UNMOTIVATED and PESSIMISTIC.

Those moments when you feel on top of the world are the exception, not the rule. Habits that can only be sustained during periods of emotional exuberance are habits that will not be maintained.

Think about the days when you feel like absolute garbage - what positive habits do you think you could maintain even on those days? Start there.

Twilight Breakthroughs

Sometimes I can sit at the computer for hours and still produce zero good ideas. But I lay in bed for 30 goddamn seconds and all the juice starts flowing.

What's that about?

There's gotta be some psychology behind that. I seem to get the best ideas either in bed, in the shower, or when I'm on a walk. The computer is good for executing and refining them, but definitely not for breakthroughs.

I wish I could better take advantage of this fact. But I also don't wanna turn my bed into a workstation.

Or do I? Maybe I'm a bed person and that's all there is to it. Common wisdom dictates that you should keep your work and sleep areas separate, but is that really working for people? And what if some of my work feels more like play? Does that change what's allowed in bed?

If I'm allowed to physically fool around in bed (wink wink), why can't I mentally fool around too?

the long way is the short way

Humans are inherently present-biased, and it's one of our primary weaknesses.

I strive to be future-biased, but it doesn't come easy. See, it's always easier right NOW to do the thing that feels easy NOW. Even though you'll probably regret it later.

One of the ways I'm combatting this bias is by learning new skills that have a steep learning curve, and sticking with them.

I'm currently learning Blender and Unreal Engine, which are 3D modeling programs that can be used for animation and game building. As a video editor, I think these would be incredibly useful skills to develop and hone over the next ten years, and they'll not only allow me to elevate my own passion projects, but they'll also make me a whole lot more valuable in a marketplace that's increasingly competitive.

But did you notice what I said? This is something that I plan on mastering over the next TEN YEARS. That's a long time… right? WRONG.

There's an old maxim that seems appropriate here: “Most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year, but underestimate what they can do in ten.”

My whole point here is simple - your present actions compound over time to determine your future. So start moving in the right direction, and just be steady and consistent. Slow is okay. But keep going.

recent archaeology

Have you ever randomly searched someone you used to know and found a string of abandoned webpages they used to use?

It's like a digital archaeological dig.

Old Instagram accounts for a band they were in for five minutes, a YouTube channel where they posted six yoga videos eight years ago, or a blog with four random posts with no discernible theme.

Wouldn't it be funny if that's what this was?

new school year

It occurred to me today that it's a new school year this month.

Being that I'm almost 30 years old, my mind has been completely rewired to think of January as the beginning of the new year. But when I was in school, January always felt like the midpoint. The only new thing being that the year had changed and you were gonna keep accidentally writing last year's date on all your homework for the next six weeks.

September was when everything changed. New teacher, new classmates, new haircut, sometimes even a new school - it was a big deal.

So despite being a 28-year-old school-hating fiend, I sort of miss the hard reset that September afforded me. It was refreshing. Fun. A little tittilating, and always scary.

So that's how I'm designing this September for myself. I'm making new year's resolutions starting now. Not waiting until January. It's too cold then anyway and everyone's got seasonal affective disorder. Best to strike while the iron's hot and we've got some sunshine in our blood and the summer lofi’s still playing in the background.

hello world

This is my first blog post. It is essentially just a test. If you are visiting this website for whatever reason, please do not read this post. Feel free to read any others. This specific blog post is purely confidential and I don’t want any of you to read it.

Please stop.